Help, I Need Somebody

It’s ok to ask for help. I’ll say it again, it’s ok to ask for help for ANYTHING. Whether it’s advice for your next career step, therapy to help you get out of a loop you’re stuck in or help with doing the laundry, it’s ok to not be 1000% at all times and to sometimes need help. 

I love the saying “It takes a village” as it applies to so much more than just raising kids. Try “It takes a village to create a successful career” or “It takes a village to have a well-rounded life.” Some members of the “village” we have no issue accepting help from like a personal trainer. We know that they’re there to help us get in shape. It’s socially acceptable to take a fitness class from an instructor or work one-on-one with a trainer. What about asking for help making dinner for your family? What about asking for help finishing a project at work? Those are sometimes harder to request help on, but just as needed to accomplish goals and to stay balanced in the process. Here’s how to know when you might need some help and how to ask for it. 

How to Know When to Ask For Help

Are you that person who flops down into bed at the end of the night and you’re exhausted? I don’t mean every so often when you’ve deep cleaned the house or after a marathon run, I mean every night. If you’re that person that’s burning the wick at both ends and plowing through a seemingly never-ending to do list, it might be time to ask for some help. Here’s a few ways I know I need some help:

  1. You feel like whatever you’re going through is unsolvable.
  2. You get annoyed that others aren’t working at the same pace as you.
  3. You feel like the mental load of everything you have to do is weighing on you. I know for me, this is when I start dreaming about doing things I need to get done or dreaming through work scenarios.
  4. You stop noticing the little things because you’re moving a mile a minute.
  5. You get irritable for things that don’t typically bother you.
  6. You can’t sleep or aren’t getting quality sleep.
  7. You feel like “you just can’t win” or “you’re being set up to fail.”

How to Ask For Help

Let’s break this down into three categories: asking for help on completion or one-time tasks, how to ask for help on recurring tasks and how to ask for help with emotional or mental health needs.

  1. Completion Tasks: Depending on the task, you might be able to get some friends or family to come over and help you knock it out. As it is something that’s a one time activity, find the fun in getting it done or make it fun for the person helping you. It might be paying a few bucks to someone who needs it or a free pizza when the job is done. 
  2.  Recurring Tasks: These may be tasks you have to pay for. There is no shame in paying someone to do a task that may seem “easy” or that you feel is your responsibility as a homeowner, spouse or parent. If you need to focus your energy on something else, get or hire help. 
get help, work life balance, help with housework, getting the chores done

I have a friend who was finishing his medical internship. He lived by himself, but spent most of his time at the hospital. When he wasn’t at the hospital, he was studying or taking a few moments to relax or play piano. Like some of us, he had a service deliver fully made frozen meals so he could eat healthy but grab and go for dinners or lunches at work. He also had a maid who came to clean once a week and helped with laundry etc. His main focus is to be the best doctor he can be and be there for his patients so he got help. 

We have this belief that we have to do everything, be everything. We’ve got to have the cleanest house or apartment, we’ve got to have all our laundry perfectly folded, we’ve got to be a boss at work. All of those things are attainable when you take out the second, unspoken assumption…that you have to do all of those things by yourself to be successful.

  1. Emotional or Mental Health Help:

You can always ask for help with things that aren’t concrete. Maybe you need help staying positive through a rough situation. Ask for it! A few years ago, I knew I was going to have a rough time with something personal. I asked a few friends to text me throughout the week with encouragement and inspiration. They sent everything from “you got this!” to funny dog and cat memes with “You’re Awesome.” Each one made me smile and reminded me that I was surrounded by love no matter what I was facing.

Inspiration, ask for support, it takes a village, career advice, career inspiration

The other piece of this is to be willing to ask for help from a third party. We all have times where we are stuck- whether that’s in a situation that keeps occurring, in the same fight with someone or stuck in self-doubt. There’s nothing wrong with talking to a therapist or psychiatrist to help you break that cycle. Don’t worry what others might think of you seeing someone, think about how you will feel when that barrier is no longer holding you still. 

When you ask for the help you need, your vibe becomes so much more positive. You are able to take the time you need for self-care so that you have the energy to bring your best self to what’s important to you. That might be family, work or a hobby. Don’t worry about what others might think if you get help. You need the village just like they do. Your goals might not be the same as their goals. They might not need the same amount or type of help you do. When you get the help you need, you’ll achieve the goals you’ve set and your highlight reel will start looking like what you envisioned.

self care, balance at work. work life balance, asking for help. career advice
work life balance, asking for help, it takes a village, career advice

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