It’s almost second nature to be harder on yourself than you would ever dream of being to other people. So, why do we do it? Why is that negative inner voice always talking and being so incredibly rude? It may be negative, but it comes from a place of drive to be your best self. It just manifests in nasty ways. There’s a diet that recommends eating more of good foods so there’s not room for the junk food. Well, I think our minds work the same way. If we fill it with good, encouraging and loving comments, there won’t be room for the negativity. Interested?
Take the next week and each day complete one of the below activities to boost your self love and block out the negative Nancy in there:
Write Yourself a Love Note: This is for the days when you feel like crap. You think you have nothing to offer the world or are in a depressed place. Start with something like “Hey self, I know today’s been rough or it’s been a rough week, but I wanted to remind you that you’ll get through this and come out even better because I know you are a smart, fun and driven person…” What are your best qualities? You might think first about a physical attribute and you should definitely write that down, but try to also list at least 3 facets of your personality that you are proud of or that others have told you about. Maybe you’re driven or passionate or fun to be around. Maybe you’re funny. Write it all down.
Find Your Theme Song: This always makes me think of that part of the film Anger Management when Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson sing “I Feel Pretty” from West Side Story. I feel charming….oh so charming. If you love Sex In The City, you might choose “I Am Woman.” Find the song that makes you feel built up and ready to take on the world. It may be a whole playlist!
Unlearn The Bad: You’ve got to make room for the good which starts with making peace with the bad. You may have memories where you felt like a terrible version of yourself or memories where speaking up for yourself or others was met with adversity. Identify the root memory, find the silver lining- what did you learn? How have you become a better or stronger person because of it?- and let it go.
Make a Vision Board: I love these as they can be anything. You can use an old hanger to make a mobile, you can use a white board, pinboard or have a 3-D mug or a block letter. I particularly love writing goals, best attributes and what you want your life to be in the future. Pull out the craft scissors, colored markers and scrapbooking supplies to make your unique vision.
Check Your Critic: When you find yourself stuck in the negative self-talk, you have to keep it in its place. What’s she saying? Is she telling you you’ll fail? If so, think of all of the times you thought you’d fail and you worked to succeed. Negative Nancy isn’t right, she’s scared. Feel free to challenge her so that you don’t give her power.
Do Something Physical: You know that part in the film Iron Man where he’s working on a project using his holographic computer and he swipes different parts of the project left or right to move or delete them? Some dating apps work this way too. I like to imagine that I’m physically pushing the negative thoughts left. Swipe left! You can also say no to those thoughts out loud in your car or another safe space or tell a friend to take the thoughts out of your head and diffuse them.
The more you fill your mind with reality, positive thinking and a brighter view of yourself, the less room there will be for negativity. Take into account your learning style. Do you learn by doing? Try the vision board or try something physical first. If you learn by writing things down, write the love note first. I can’t wait to hear how these fill your days with self love.
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